Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
