i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
