Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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