I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
