You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
