Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize