Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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