I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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