if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Randomize
