I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Randomize
