i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
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