oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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