I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
