My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
