I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
