Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
