I showed him my bush... on skype.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
He felt like a one man threesome
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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