Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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