At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Ladies don't puke and tell
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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