State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
