I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
