absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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