I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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