Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
