She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
