awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
