He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
