Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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