Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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