I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Dick very happy bro
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
