it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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