do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
