I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
