I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize