I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
