I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
...so i touched it.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
