OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
