you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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