if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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