First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
You dont lie about slip and slides
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
