Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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