When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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