Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
