Christians are straight up FREAKS
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize