Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
