I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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