We're facebook friends in real life
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
