Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
