I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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