Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
