So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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