capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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