Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
