I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
