i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
